Thursday, April 10, 2008

Blah blah blah. I'm making myself write so that I'm not obsessed with baby stuff. Or episiotomy stitches. I don't have much to say, though. I mean other than baby stuff. I spend my days nervous about whether he's eating enough and lamenting my sore boobs. I get weepy sometimes. I know nothing about different types of bottles. I watch my mother in law clean my house and feel only slightly ashamed of myself.

I don't have a hobby. I watch a lot of judge shows. That's what's going on with me right now.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


I am scared now that i'm a mother. I'm scared that he's not eating enough. I am raw with worry. I want to stop. I want a break. Which is crazy because I have all the help in the world. But, it's just that this is forever. Cameron's not going home after a while - he is home. And the possibilities of what kind of mother I'll be, what kind of family we'll be, what kind of person he'll be - are endless.
I have to get a hold on myself. I have anxiety, which is normal, and I need to remember that. I can't let it rule my life. I will be happy damn it.