Life is very sweet right now. There is a squirmy baby in my belly. I am married, and happily so. Things have taken an upturn in my career. Things are good and I am so very greatful for that.

That said, I have some things I'd like to work on for the coming year. The consensus with most people is that New Year's resolutions suck - and maybe they do - but I think now is the perfect time to take inventory of what's going on in my life and set some goals for myself.

I'd like to open up my life a little more. When things were getting out of control and I was going through my depression, several people were purged out of my life. I say it like that because it's not like I woke up and said 'I don't want to be friends with x, so I won't.' Rather, we just stopped identifying. Conversations got strained and uncomfortable. I got really fucking horrible about returning phone calls. After that, my circle of friends was more like a triangle. Including my husband, I have about three people I can call up and bug when I'm bored. Other than that, I've been doing a lot of hanging out with people my husband knows. So, I'd like to open myself up to the possibility of new friends of my own.

I need to challenge my brain more. Pregnancy has made it very easy for me to lie in bed watching tv while my brain and butt turn to mush. I want to find some kind of hobby to keep myself occupied and to learn new things. I'd also like to read more.

That's all I can think of right now, and frankly, it's enough. Adios for now

Today I learned

Today I learned that I want to be a great writer, not just an employed writer (though I pretty much already knew that; I forget sometimes.)
I learned that I want to speak my mind
That I have something to offer
That I really am passionate about journalism, it's not just a line on my cover letter
That I'm going to start ruffling some feathers, and I'm going to enjoy it.

I think the baby crazies are finally getting to me. I was a raving, emotional bitch this weekend, and the past few days I have been in a bit of a funk. At 24 weeks, I now look like I have something about the size of a soccer ball shoved down my shirt. And my ass is getting bigger, too - I guess it doesn't want my tummy to feel alone.

I'm figuring out more and more lately that if I want something, I'm going to have to work for it. Nothing comes easy. That applies to my job, this blog (which I am barely tending to, obv.) and even superficial shit like my hair. I know it's an obvious to most people, but oh well - I guess I'm slow to learn sometimes.

My major goal right now is to drum up some freelance writing work. I feel like I am sooooo far away from it happening. I had a burst of energy a few weeks ago, and even made a connection with a paper here in Baltimore, but so far that seems to be languishing in the background. I know I need to keep moving forward. I need some more ideas as to how to do that.