You know how some people get adult acne? I think I'm experiencing adult puberty.

At least once a week I feel angsty and worthless and ugly. I feel stuck and helpless and when this feeling comes, no amount of journal writing, crying, ice cream, even (sigh)meds will make it go away. I just have to sit in it while it lasts.

The problem is, I think, dissatisfaction. I want to have something going on for myself. Sure, I do have a lovely supportive family, an awsome and cute boyfriend, and a way of making money (which I realize - is way more than most people could ask for) but I want to be good at something. I want to be passionate about something. I at least want to be advancing in my career, please.

Gah.

And as long as I'm feeling all teenagery, could I have no bills and some kind of a winter formal to be looking forward to? At the very least, could I get my mom to drive me to the mall?

Thank you for beauty. A beautiful weekend, beautiful writing, beautiful art.

Today I'm praying for bravery.