Either

Fuck that
Either love me or leave me alone.

Don't be afraid of words
They're a string of playthings
they are sometimes weapons, with edges sharp as knives
but they're fun, too.
They're silly and loving and hard as ice

There's nothing to be afraid of when you're dealing with words
they can be assembled and disassembled as easy as a-b-c

So I'm back.

The only reason for this is that I've been feeling the itch to write. And maybe if I just keep on writing, I'll stumble on to something important, amusing or interesting to say. Or maybe I will be responsible to adding to the big 'ol pile of bullshit that is the internet.

whatever.

I stopped writing when I was becoming more and more swept up in the crazy.

I could spell out all the reasons for the crazy. I could run down the symptoms of the crazy, I could talk about how the crazy felt.

But honestly? I'm a little sick of that. I'm a little sick of myself. I feel like I've spent years of my life waiting to live. Sitting on the sidelines or doing the least little bit so that I still look alive. But it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Well, that's not true. It's gotten me a job which pays the bills which is great - but it's not enough. I feel like I've moved the way a leaf or bit of paper moves when the wind blows it. Not on purpose, not with a purpose, not with a goal.

I'm sick of analyzing why I don't want to do something, why I'm not where I want to be. Goddamit, I just want to be there!

I want to step beyond craziness, fear, anxiety. It's hard and frustruating, enfuriating and, really - it sucks.

But I'm hoping that I'll come out the other end a better, more accomplished, more satisfied person. I think that's what this is about.

The End.