What in the holy hell is happening to me?

That's what I'm asking myself when I'm not curled up in fetal position or trying to imitate a normal person. What the hell changed? what the hell is different? I've never been so uncomfortable in my own skin. I've never been so scared of life. I feel like I'm stuck in the before of my story and I don't want to make any mistakes that could effect the after. If I do, I reason, I'll be able to pinpoint exactly what went wrong; I'll know exactly what I shouldn't have done.