So here's the thing...I had this boyfriend. We broke up. It was bad. Really, really bad. Like, me not eating for a month and going to the psychiatrist bad.

Then, I was a mess for a really long time. Then, after a while I got better and was happy and learned a lot.

Yay, right?

Well, here's the other thing. The ex broke up with the chick that he dumped me for and started contacting me. Like any self-respecting black chick I gave him the finger-in-the-air-neck-swivle-nuh-uh-no-way. He kept contacting me...I kept saying no...

but.

I didn't really feel like I was saying no because I wanted to say no. I felt like I was saying no cause that's what I was supposed to say.

So we talked...
and talked...
and...eventually...some other stuff.

He says he loves me.

Now, I understand how this looks on paper. I know how this should end.

But for some reason, I feel like I have to try. I think I'll regret it if I don't try.

So there we go. I'm an idiot, I know it, and now, so does the internet. Yay!