there is something about now, this time, that demands something of me.

quite frankly, it's getting on my damn nerves.

i feel like i want to write, want to create, then i sit down and it all feels like a homework assignment that's due tomorrow morning. It turns into something i have to do and not something i want to do.

i feel like right now, i am my biggest responsibility and i'm failing me big time.

I feel like it's never - don't ask me what 'it' is - going to come together for me. That I'm never going to make it come together for myself.

How do I get to being happy?

I would love to immerse myself in writing. I need something, someone, some catalyst to push me over the edge and in the right (write?) direction.