So I'm back.

The only reason for this is that I've been feeling the itch to write. And maybe if I just keep on writing, I'll stumble on to something important, amusing or interesting to say. Or maybe I will be responsible to adding to the big 'ol pile of bullshit that is the internet.

whatever.

I stopped writing when I was becoming more and more swept up in the crazy.

I could spell out all the reasons for the crazy. I could run down the symptoms of the crazy, I could talk about how the crazy felt.

But honestly? I'm a little sick of that. I'm a little sick of myself. I feel like I've spent years of my life waiting to live. Sitting on the sidelines or doing the least little bit so that I still look alive. But it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Well, that's not true. It's gotten me a job which pays the bills which is great - but it's not enough. I feel like I've moved the way a leaf or bit of paper moves when the wind blows it. Not on purpose, not with a purpose, not with a goal.

I'm sick of analyzing why I don't want to do something, why I'm not where I want to be. Goddamit, I just want to be there!

I want to step beyond craziness, fear, anxiety. It's hard and frustruating, enfuriating and, really - it sucks.

But I'm hoping that I'll come out the other end a better, more accomplished, more satisfied person. I think that's what this is about.

The End.